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". . . the most comprehensive guide I have ever read for solving any conceivable trying scenario!"
--Julie Jansen, bestselling author of You Want Me to Work with Who? and I Don't Know What I Want, but I Know It's Not This
You can't stop office madness, but you can stop the madness from getting to you.
Gossipy coworkers, unmanageable managers, and cranky clients have got you pulling your hair out and gnawing your nails down to nubs. From teammates who drop the ball on deadlines to corporate bullies who try to run your show, your work environment can be lethal to your health and your career.
Change Your Reaction, Not Their Actions
When things get crazy, you may not be able to control how others behave, but you can change how you respond. Al Bernstein shows you how understand the situation, how to keep the craziness from bothering you, how to keep things from getting worse, and how you can make them better.
Problems/solutions discussed inside:
- Coworkers who don't like you? Feed them!
- Hidden agendas? Unleash the power of “cc:” mail!
- Unpleasant supervisors? Tell them only what they want to hear!
- Office gossip? Dish out positive gossip about other people!
- Lying coworkers? Buy into their lies and watch what happens!
- And ninety-five more!
- Sales Rank: #727832 in Books
- Brand: Bernstein, Albert J.
- Published on: 2009-07-27
- Released on: 2009-07-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .77" w x 6.00" l, .90 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
About the Author
ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and nationally recognized expert in conflict resolution. His work on psychological issues in the workplace has been featured in Men's Health, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, Real Simple, Parents, Best Life, and other publications.
Most helpful customer reviews
40 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
great stuff, but ...
By C. P. Anderson
This guy is really good. I've read a couple of his books, and have always been impressed how much wisdom and honesty there are in them.
This book strikes me as particularly realistic. Instead of the typical pablum about teamwork, growth, etc., he really lays it on the line. Let's face it: the typical organization is rather dysfunctional, politics are big, not everybody you meet has it all together, you have to play the game, it's not what you know ... all that good stuff.
His basic thrust is that this is reality. You can stew about it, you can complain about it, you can worry about it, but none of that really changes anything. So, if you want to do something about it, you have to basically start with yourself. You have to determine what you can do (and very little of that involves the full frontal assault that is so tempting to the disgruntled) and go ahead and actually do it. At the same time, you also have to keep in mind that there are a ton of things you simply cannot change.
The advice seems really spot-on. My guess is it comes, not from speculating about what might or should be, but from lots and lots of talking with real people on the couch.
On the other hand, I'm giving this only 4 stars because it seemed to be perhaps a little TOO realistic. At points, I got a feeling that he was simply telling me to just suck it up - or to just grow up. He also very straightforwardly says to suck up and to be a bit of a phony.
I think there's a lot of truth to these, but would have appreciated a little more selling on his part, maybe a little more nuance. I know a lot of these things are true, but it doesn't make me like them any more. How do I deal with that dissonance?
In addition, my 25 years experience in the real world tells me that not all companies are the same. I've been at some total turkeys and at some really great ones. My personal advice would be, if you're at a turkey, to suck it up until you can move on to that better company. Perhaps listening to people on the couch all day gave Dr. Bernstein a rather *jaundiced* view of reality. ;^)
One final strength of this book is the writing style. It's short, sweet, to the point, structured (i.e., lots of lists and short, targeted sections), and also uses humor and stories very tellingly.
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
I'm reading it again and again.
By Kate H. Kelley
I feel empowered and smart after reading, Am I the only SANE ONE working here? Dr. Albert Bernstein offers practical solutions to everyday problems in the workplace. The solutions include guidance on how I can make the change happen without expectation of others changing first. I recall following the survival solutions for defusing anger and had immediate results because my actions changed the other person's response. The book is well written, easy to understand, and memorable. It is the kind of book you will want to reference when issues arise. I was amazed at how this author could come up with something so useful. It's a must read for anyone who wants to understand how to survive and even thrive in the workplace. Kate Kelley
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Practical solutions
By €¡n€
We all want to be right. The other books try to help you convince other people that you are. Just say this and your problem is solved. Unfortunately, your coworkers didn't read that book so they don't react the way the book said they would.
You cannot change other people. It's rare that you can change situations that other people have control over. This book pounds home the fact that you can only change your reaction to the situations and people you encounter.
It's not enough to just know that fact. Knowing it's true and making it work are 2 different things. Solutions are explained in such a way that you can use them. You aren't dependent on how the other people acting or reacting. It's up to you and what you are willing to let go... really let go.
You behave based on what will help you achieve your own goals not on your emotions. And sometimes you just have to suck it up. This situation can't be changed because you are not in charge. Deal with it or leave.
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